"The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them." -Bernard Baruch
I will skip the apology for not posting for more than a month now. I think we all know I've been a little bit occupied with other matters. I do want to update you on my health, but not relating to my weight loss (partially because I have no weight loss to report and partially because other aspects of my health have taken precedence for the time being).
The title of my post is a simple, alliterative summary of my life for the last three weeks.
FITS: As most of you know, I have had two seizures, which they actually call fits here (I thought we left that term in the 1950s...guess not). As far as I know, I've never had one before 3 weeks ago, and we don't have a family history of epilepsy. Needless to say, these seizures were pretty scary. After considerable trouble and lots of assistance from coworkers, I have finally had an EEG scan, an MRI, and two doctor visits. The prognosis is about as good as it can be in this situation--everything on the scans is normal (meaning I don't have any tumors or other brain damage). I have just started taking anti-seizure medication and I will continue to do so for at least a couple of years. I plan to meet with doctors in the States to continue monitoring the situation. If you're wondering, no, they don't know what caused it, and NO it's wasn't stress.
FATIGUE: I have been SO tired for the last few weeks. With the seizures and the testing, coordinating rides and appointments, explaining the situation over and over, and still trying to sell my things, get housing in the States, and organize my move, it's been an exhausting three weeks. Now, my new medication is making me even more tired. I have not been able to exercise regularly or vigorously, though I want nothing more. That has been one of the hardest things for me, because exercise has been such a major part of my life recently. I can't wait to get back into the groove!
FAT: My lack of exercise, in addition to a general lack of energy, has caused an unfortunate weight gain. Now I don't need anyone commenting and saying that they didn't even notice the 5-8 extra pounds I am carrying around, because it doesn't matter. My pants are too tight, I look 3 months pregnant (thank you to the Primary child that pointed that out!), and I just feel huge. I have not kept my eating in check because it honestly takes too much energy. A few kind souls have volunteered to bring me meals, but it just seems like too much to ask for a gluten and soy free meal that is also low fat, veggie based, and calorie-counted. I would hate for someone to bring me something that I can't or won't eat. It's just not worth it! I can't wait to have my energy back and start cooking up some good food again!
FRIENDS: This experience has reminded me of how much I am loved. I truly have some wonderful friends here in Doha. They have driven me to appointments, covered classes for me, fed me, and listened to all of my complaining. I feel like I have called in every favor I have collected for the last two years! I am so grateful that God has blessed me with such caring, compassionate people to help me through this trial.
FAITH: Most importantly, this experience has strengthened my faith. At first, I found myself asking God why he would do this to me, and why now, when I have so many other things to worry about? But through studying the scriptures, prayers, and priesthood blessings, I began to see the Lord's hand in this trial. It was a blessing that I had the first seizure while sharing a hotel room with my mom. Since I live alone, we might have never figured out what was happening. It was a blessing that I was still in Doha and able to get all of the medical testing and medication at no cost for me. It was a blessing that I didn't have a seizure while driving. The Lord is mindful of us. He is mindful of me. I have felt His love throughout this whole experience and I know He will continue to support me as I follow up with doctors in the States.
In less than two weeks, I will be back on American soil for good! And though I did not meet my specific weight loss goals here in Doha, I look forward to focusing on all aspects of my health when I return.
Love,
Candace
If all else fails...
