Week 13: The Cost of Health

"He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not." -Italian Proverb

I have been thinking a lot about the cost of health this week.  Good health doesn't just cost money, it also costs time and energy and willpower and commitment.  It's no wonder that many people are unwilling to pay that price. Yet ironically, people are willing to pay the price of bad health. Bad health doesn't just cost money either, though that comes in doctor bills and prescriptions.  It also costs constant fatigue, aches and pains, frustration, embarrassment, and much more.  

I was thinking about this because I spent a lot of money on food this week.  Over the last few months, my food bills have actually decreased as I have eaten more fruits and veggies, less expensive packaged foods. But this week was a little different.  I mentioned that I have been having some digestive problems.  I went to the doctor and just as I expected, he told me it was "probably an infection" and gave me some meds.  I came prepared this time though.  After extensive research, I realized that the one thing I haven't been tested for, yet seems to fit all of my symptoms, is Celiac disease.  So I asked to be tested for it.  And my demand request was granted! Unfortunately, I won't have the blood results back for a couple of weeks, as the blood had to be sent to GERMANY for testing.

So long story short, I went on a gluten-free diet.  And so far, I am feeling MUCH better! Unfortunately, here in Doha, it is a little harder to find gluten free products, and the ones we have are pricey.  So I put out a little more money than normal this week to buy foods that were safe for my diet.  And though I cringed at first, I know that my health is worth the cost. 

Obviously a few days of feeling good does NOT mean that I for sure have Celiac or even a mild gluten-intolerance, but it does give me hope that I can get this all figured out and continue on the path of good health.

The new diet this week sort of messed up my brain a little bit and I ended up eating way too much.  Add that in with a few missed workouts and what do you get? In this case, a stalemate.  I didn't gain or lose weight this week, so here I am, still exactly halfway to my goal.

This week I am leaving on Thursday for Spring Break in Jordan.  My goal is to exercise and eat really well before I go and and weigh in that morning before I leave.  I am planning to stay active over the trip and keep up with my gluten free diet as well.  It should be a busy, but fabulous week!

Pounds lost: 15

Pounds left to lose: 15

Love,

Candace

Week 12: Halfway There!

"Losing weight is not the goal. You can lose weight by expelling something from your body. You can lose weight by cutting off your arm." Heather, Half-Size Me podcast

Well friends, I have good news and I have bad news.  I guess the title sort of gave away the good news, but I did it! I made it halfway to my goal by reaching 15 pounds of weight loss this week! I was pretty excited to see that number and realize how much I have accomplished.  I am also happy that I am keeping up with my timeline (losing 30 pounds in 6 months) despite not seeing huge losses each week.

This week, for example, I am down just .4 pounds from last week, and I think that is more in spite of anything I did rather than because of anything I did.  This brings me to the bad news--I am still not feeling great.  In fact, a few days this week, I felt much worse.  I am having some sort of digestive system meltdown, which is not really new for me, but since it has lasted two weeks now, I broke down and made an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow. 

I am hoping to get this little problem cleared up soon because I have been either in pain, feeling nauseous, ridiculously thirsty, or totally fatigued for the last two weeks and that really puts a damper on my workouts.  I haven't even been that hungry, though I keep eating because in my head it will help me feel better.  My journey is losing momentum and if I don't get this figured out, I am concerned I'll start moving backwards.

Feeling so sick this week has made me really remember that it really is not all about weight loss.  I didn't lose weight this week because I was exercising and eating like a champ.  I lost weight because I feel sick. So while I am still happy to be halfway there, I hope that sometime soon, I will go back to losing weight because I am fighting to do so. Until then, I'm going to try to eat well, do what exercise I can and keep sending up prayers that this problem is fixed!

Here's to a healthier week ahead!

Pounds lost: 15

Pounds left to lose: 15

Love,

Candace

Week 11: The Break Up

"It's true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don't give the scale more power than it has earned.  Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life!"  -Steve Maraboli

If I thought last week was wonky, this week was much stranger! Sunday was decently normal and I got in a good workout at the gym.  But Monday I started feeling bad...and I felt like that for the rest of the week! I couldn't really pinpoint what was wrong with me--one minute my head was throbbing, the next my stomach was churning, and the next my muscles were aching! So I didn't get in a single other workout for the rest of the week! (I went back to circuit class this morning, and it was a rude awakening!)

The week was also strange because I found that I wasn't sitting around counting calories like a madwoman. I'm not a super strict calorie counter anyway, but this week, I decided to be more intuitive and eat things that are good for me, even if they are higher in calories (i.e. avocado).  This more intuitive eating was really a beautiful thing and it made me listen to my body more.  

The oddest thing I did was go the whole week without weighing myself! I called it my break up with the scale. The first couple of days, I felt a little panicky about the whole thing. I was concerned about what might happen without that constant monitoring.  But as I started feeling sick, I started to care less about the scale and more about taking care of my body. I tried to feed it the right things and get enough sleep and all that good stuff. And something pretty remarkable happened.

My body compensated for my lack of exercise naturally.  As I worked to listen to what it needed for fuel, I didn't end up overeating or packing on the pounds.  In fact, with essentially NO exercise this week, I actually lost a little bit of weight.  And I do mean little--.6 of a pound to be exact.  That puts me very close to halfway to my goal of 30 pounds! I am impressed with my body's ability to regulate my weight even when I couldn't keep up with exercise. This gives me a lot of hope for the time when I am simply working to maintain my weight as opposed to losing weight.

I was also glad to note that even without the scale, I knew that I was doing okay and not gaining weight. I could tell by how my clothes fit. I could tell by what I was putting into my body.  If I could give up the scale for a month, I would do it, but for this leg of my journey, I need to check in at least weekly.

I am happy with these little bits of progress, but I'm going to be honest, I'd like to see more of a drop on the scale this week.  I am still not feeling 100%, but I have let my body rest enough! It's back in the game and hopefully crossing the halfway mark this week!

Pounds lost: 14.6

Pounds left to lose: 15.4

Love,

Candace

Week 10: Feeling Strange

"The woman whose eyes she used was the last woman the child she had been would have expected to become." -Stephen King

This week, I have been feeling strange.  You know, people talk all the time about how great it is to lose weight, how amazing you feel, yadda, yadda, yadda.  What no one ever talks about is how strange it feels at times.

It's strange to walk past a full length mirror and not recognize the person you see (Think Mulan--Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?).

It's strange to go to a fast food joint that you have frequented throughout your life and not want to eat a single thing on the menu, not even the salad. (Even if you did eat the salad. And some fries leftover from the kid's meals you bought for the kids.)

It's strange to have an entire closet of clothes that don't fit because they are too big, and not the other way around.  (This is much more frustrating than it sounds.)

It's strange to go from "I love this food (cake, cookies, pizza, whatever)" to "I love this food, but I don't eat it" to "I don't even like this food anymore".  I have to take this moment to quote an old Drake and Josh episode: "I don't even know what love is! I used to love meatloaf; now I question whether meat should come in the form of a loaf!" By the way, I still love meatloaf, but the same is not true of fast food, pizza, most packaged cookies, some candies, soda, etc.

It's strange to go to stores and not try on some of the biggest clothes on the racks.

It's strange to have people you barely know tell you how great you look and how much weight you're losing.

It's all very strange.  But don't get me wrong, I'll take all the strange feelings if it means that I am actually achieving something, which in this case, I am!

So on to the weekly weigh in.  I am down just .8 pound from last week, which is pretty good considering the obscene amount of Goldfish and Cheerios I consumed this weekend while babysitting! I am always happy to see any progress on the scale.

Speaking of the scale, I have decided to take a break from it for the week.  Typically, I weigh myself everyday, not to obsess about things, but to watch the fluctuations. This weekend, however, I did not take my scale to babysitting so there was no weigh in for two whole days. And it felt great! So I decided to try it for a bit longer, although I will still weigh in Saturday morning!

Without the scale to give me an idea of how I'm doing, I decided to really focus on what my body is telling me and practice eating and exercising more mindfully.  Today has been a great start to that and I'm looking forward to a happy and healthy week!

Pounds lost: 14

Pounds left to lose: 16

Love,

Candace

Week 9: Choose Your Hard

"We are not to expect to be translated from despotism to liberty in a featherbed." -Thomas Jefferson

First of all, I just want to say a big thank you for all of the positive responses to my last post! I posted that comparison picture with some trepidation, realizing that I was REALLY putting it all out there! But your support has really motivated me to keep it up this week and stay on track!

This week, probably more than any week of my journey so far, people have been asking me what I am doing to lose weight.  I'm starting to feel like people are expecting some complicated answer, but it really is simple.  Eat well and exercise. That's really it.  As simple as it is to understand, it's not easy to accomplish. In fact, it is quite difficult.

I have to exercise nearly every day, and not just a walk around the block.  I have to plan and prepare healthy meals and snacks.  I have to say no to cookies and brownies and pizza even when I would rather just eat one. Those things are hard. But you know what else is hard? Getting winded every time you walk up the stairs. Going shopping for hours and finding nothing that both fit and was flattering.  Being told every time you go to the doctor that you really should lose some weight.  So yes, losing weight is hard. But staying fat is also hard. As they say in the fitness world, choose your hard.

I did a pretty good job this week sticking to my convictions.  I wasn't perfect of course, but I was much better than the previous week.  I hit an "all-time low" on this scale this week as I dropped another 1.2 pounds! It's not a lot, but it's encouraging to see progress once again.  

I am excited for another healthy week ahead!

Pounds lost: 13.2

Pounds left to lose: 16.8

Love,

Candace